So it began

Our families journey with autism has been a rollercoaster. It all started about 9 yrs ago when we decided to start fostering children. We were asked to foster a 4 yr old boy who had been placed due to neglect. Of course I knew in my heart we could help him, he came to us very angry and his face showed nothing but anger. He threw horrible tantrums, destroying walls, furniture, and most importantly family events. Anytime we had a happy event Christmas, Birthdays, etc we were sure to have a horrible fit from him. He was admitted into a Childrens Psychiatric Hosp a total to 8 times over the last 9 yrs. His tantrums were very aggressive towards anyone that tried to stop him. He was first diagnosed at 5 with RAD and our journey began with therapy. We tried everything that they told us to do. Nothing worked. As our therapists came and went we kept seeking help for him and our family. He seemed to hold it together at school with the tantrums but still would get in trouble for other behaviors. He was suspended from the bus for shoving a boys head into the window because the child touched him accidently, he got detention for patting a girl (even though he knew better) his thought process was and still is "but I wanted to". As the years past his bio parents did not do what was needed to regain custody of him, and we were asked if we wanted to adopt him and his sister. Of course we had them for 2 yrs they were our children. At the same time we were finalizing their adoption we were asked to foster 2 boys that had been placed in 4 homes in a months time. I remember my words exactly to the foster care worker who called me and told me their story. The oldest boy was 2 1/2  and the youngest 16 mos. She went on to tell me their story and I said how stupid can these foster parents be they are just babies. When the worker walked  in my house with them and the oldest could only scream I just thought this poor lil boy he just needs to know that he is loved. The 16 mo old suffered from neglect he banged his head to sooth himself  and he did throw fits, but as the time went by we discovered it was the only way he knew. As for the 2 1/2 yr old it was something more. When in public he would throw fits, kick people, spit on people, throw things and run off. I started him in therapy at 3 yrs old and we started our long journey. The Drs tried all kinds of different drugs on him and nothing seemed to work and if it did it was sure to fail. He was diagnosed with inutero drug exposure. Which as we were told makes the body react different to foods and drugs. We ended up switching him to another Psychiatrist that our other son was seeing so that we could get him more therapy. All they could say was that he was wired wrong, I could not except that there was no help so we kept searching. I also did not think that this was the only and thing wrong even though the Drs did not care what he had they wanted to treat the symptoms. I went with that for many yrs. In the meantime Bio Mom had another baby and the state placed the baby in another foster home because we were full. As they moved towards TPR we knew there was no doubt we were going to adopt this sibling group. So we began the process of getting the third baby placed in our home so that he could grow up with his brothers. That in its self was a fight. The boys deserved the chance to grow up together. Thanks to there awesome state worker who was behind us 100% the baby was moved to our home so we could begin the adoption process. At this point we had finalized the adoption with the first 2 and now were working on the other 3. Still searching for answers to the two boys mental condition. We were told that Rodney had RAD and there is no cure only meds to control the symptoms. We could not except that. Trenton was diagnosed still with inutero drug exposure and as his Dr would say he just is not wired right. With all adoptions finalized and no state worker or case manager to guide us we began our journey of trying to find the help Rodney and Trenton needed. I became very good friends with anyone who I thought had the expertise in OT, DI (developmental intervention) therapist, other foster parents, teachers, school counselors, and the Drs. I knew in my heart we were looking at something that there was no cure for, and all the love in the world would not fix this. This was going to be a lifestyle change and teaching the boys to look at things differently